The Three Stooges

Session 31

TLDR
Important Points:
  • We get zhwooped to an alternate plane??
  • Gabriel tried to convince Sarah to work with him, he failed
  • Gabriel also states that Sarah’s fiance Allie may still be alive and is rebelling against the “preordained notion of fate”
    • Allie angered the woestrider, causing it to swallow her whole and is currently in a catatonic state, alive but preserved
    • The authenticity of this fact is questionable
  • Turns out we have been invited to Tabitha’s tea party

04.22.0347 | Half Moon Bay, Valzelia

  • Bloo, Nim, and Yul are holding hands
  • Sarah begins to drift away
  • 2 dots that are glowing eerily
  • We are falling for minutes
  • See white slowly widening as we get closer to.. splash
  • We are all wet, and we are in the port that we arrived in, but Sarah is nowhere to be seen
  • Appear by crescent boardwalk where we arrived in Half Moon Bay at
  • We swim to shore
  • Some sailors help us up
  • The three of us head back to the ring shop
  • On our way, we see a familiar man, angrily storming by, “These imbeciles never do anything right”
    • It’s the metalwork man, Wilfred Dongle
    • “No one fucking listens to me”
    • Overhear him say “I told them not to go into the god damn shop and if I see them they are going to be…. I dunno.. but something
    • Pissed that someone opened a locked door in Steel Alley that he explicitly told everybody not to open it
  • We follow him into Steel Alley without him noticing, the door he stops at is not the ring shop, but another storefront, one that you don’t remember seeing before
  • He looks left and right, presses in, slides the door open
  • Bloo sticks his foot into the door
  • Dongle man: “Who the fuck are you??”
  • Sarah who is still falling: feels a disturbance in the force
  • Dongle man: Too many things I’m dealing with, so pardon me if I can’t remember everything, I have something I need to do
  • Dongle man: “if you would let me go back to my work”
  • Dusty hallway into room
  • “I have been too busy to investigate anything, I’ve just been delegating the work”
  • We leave and go to the ring shop
Sarah
  • Falling
  • “How long has it been since you’ve seen the others”
  • Gabriel stands in front of Sarah, Sarah is lying on the ground
  • Sarah: “How’s it going Seliph”
  • Gabriel: “Are you interested in drinks”
  • Sarah: “Do you have 500 year old elven wine”
  • Gabriel: snaps his fingers and a table appears
  • Gabriel “I’m here to discuss something, something separate from the others”
  • Gabriel: “I know and you know that you are the most competent person in this gaggle of adventurers you’re in”
  • Gabriel: “I know you want to kill the woestrider, I’m interested in helping you”
  • Sarah: “I think you’re a dick”
  • Gabriel: “My offer is on the table”
  • Sarah: “There’s only wine on the table”
  • Gabriel: “We share a common goal no? You and I both want, the woestrider, dead”
  • Sarah: “If you’re so chill like that, why don’t you go kill him”
  • Gabriel: “I have something you need, and you have something I need, I need your divine power to break its armor, you see that beast I couldn’t even begin to dent it, I can’t even pierce it, it heals faster than I can kill it”
  • Sarah: “Doesn’t look like I have much of a choice do I”
  • Gabriel: “If you ignore me, you can stay as long as you want or as short as you want”
  • Gabriel: “in exchange for my help, your friend, the dumb one, ”
  • Sarah: “That’s all of them, wdym”
  • Gabriel: I believe you know who’ I’m talking about, the one who houses the shards, I believe that is our key to victory against this beast, because I know you will see reason sooner than they will, they cling onto sentiment more than you do, and I know you’ll be more practical about this
  • Gabriel: “i’ve been observing you for some time, I know you once made a claim that you’d kill your friend, take the shards out, and revive them”
  • Sarah: “my friend said no”
  • Gabriel: “I beg you to reconsider”
  • Sarah: “Why don’t you get on your knees and beg harder”
  • Gabriel: “You want your fiance back?”
  • Sarah: “That’s impossible”
  • Gabriel: Do you know that?
  • Sarah: “No but you’re annoying as shit and I’d rather commit suicide than help you”
  • Gabriel: “I can ensure her safe return”
  • Gabriel: “I have that power”
  • Sarah: “Do it now”
  • Gabriel: “we need to slay the beast first, no? the woestrider defies fate itself, and it seems that your fiance was rebelling against some preordained notion of fate, whatever that means, but I do know this, whatever your fiance did to anger it caused it to swallow her whole, as well as hundreds and thousands of others throughout its lifetime, this anomaly has existed for centuries, I have wanted it dead for that long, and this is the chance”
  • Gabriel: “she’s in a catatonic state, she’s alive and preserved, I know that for certainty”
  • Gabriel: “will you go along with this plan? If you kill this beast without my help, you might kill her in the process”
  • Sarah: “I’d rather do my own research and then ask if I need your help, which I probably won’t”
  • Gabriel hands sarah a card, recite this incantation, it’ll bring you back to me
  • Gabriel: “I do implore you to consider this bargain”
  • Sarah: “Consider deez nuts”
  • Gabriel snaps his fingers
  • Sarah is in water (“glug glug glug”), is also in the water at crescent boardwalk
  • Sarah swims out
Steel Alley
  • You make your way to where the ring shop was, but you don’t see the storefront
  • There is only a wall
  • Bloo knocks on the wall, it feels like wood
  • There’s fewer people roaming about
  • The wizard tower looks shinier
  • There is nowhere to lock pick the door
  • I brush my hand against the door, I feel something weirdly warm, it just feels like heat
  • Notice a weird sound coming from outside the alley, there’s a cat meowing
  • It scampers away but looks at us, and then runs away
  • Yul goes after the cat
  • The cat is licking its paw
  • Yul holds out the fish shaped amulet
  • The cat looks up and ignores you
  • Yul looks up while putting the amulet away and suddenly the cat is gone
  • Nim presses her hand against the door, suddenly it feels really hot, like burning hot
  • Yul goes back
  • Nim opens her purple smoke jar, it is very visible to everyone in the vicinity, Sarah looks around and doesn’t see anything, she does not see the purple smoke
Sarah
  • Sarah sees a gruff man, “oh hey did you take a dip in the water or smth?”
  • “I’m about to go out and clean some ships”
  • The gruff man wants to go fishing
  • Sarah tells them there are sirens
  • The gruff man here mutters something about “this isn’t something you see everyday”
  • See a poster about a fashion show at the wizard tower
  • Sarah goes around Steel Alley, hear a fair bit of noise and commotion in the tower, the door is closed but not locked
  • Sarah knocks
  • Wizard: “Oh hellloooo darrllinngg, plate armor is sooo last month”
  • Sarah: “Not you again!!”
  • A force pulls Sarah into the building
  • Wizard puts patterns on sarah’s plate armor
  • Wizard: I won’t let you leave until you’re satisfied with a new set of fashionable armor
  • A disco ball, casts Dancing Light
  • Sarah: “I think your worst critic may be me”
  • Wizard: “Oh no no no I’ve had worse”
  • Sarah: “Oh sorry I’ll try harder”
  • Sarah tries to leave, dislikes the disco attire
  • Wizard: “On the house”
  • Sarah: “On the house…??”
  • Sarah is wearing a cowboy hat, and boots with little spinny things on the end, and a leather vest
  • Sarah angles towards the mirror a little, and the mirror cracks
  • Wizard snaps fingers, changes Sarah back to normal
  • I hope this was a nice free consultation, it was nice meeting you
  • Sarah sees a plume of purple smoke, felt like was stuck in that tower for an hour
  • Sarah goes to find the purple smoke, in Steel Alley, sees the idiots holding a pickaxe in front of the door
The Three Stooges + Sarah
  • Nim uses her pickaxe to break down the door
  • It doesn’t behave like wood, the pickaxe feels stuck, “Hey what are you doing over there”
  • Nim: “Official government business!”
  • “Under my authority i am placing you all under arrest”
  • It’s a tall golden dragonborn, not wearing a ring
  • In fact, “Steel Alley is off limits” right now
  • Convince him that Dongle man sent us
  • It burned me, the door only burns those who don’t have the right authority
  • I’m the Chief Inquisitor
  • Rings of Bling, Chief Inquisitor says that store hasn’t opened yet, Mr. Dongle was ordering construction of that room
  • What’s the date?
    • 04/22
    • Year 347
  • Bloo pretends to trip and die, ejects under the door
  • Nim and Yul mourn Bloo
  • Bloo casts Sending to Seliph: Send help, time goofy, dongle man forgot us, ring store disappeared, help please, inquisitor arrested everybody, don’t have papers, steel alley secret door at end
  • Bloo sees darkness and a staircase going down, look behind you, more darkness, stair ascend, don’t see the door anymore
  • Bloo slimes down the stairs, feel gravity pushing on you weird, as you take a step, i fall forward but catch myself, i turn around, don’t see anything, see horizon that is just gone
  • The way forward is flat, behind me is a drop off
  • I continue forward
  • I feel vulnerable
  • I keep going, i keep going, and going, and going, and turn around, it’s just a cliff behind me
The Three Stooges + Sarah - Bloo
  • Bloo’s corpse is flat on the ground
  • Inquisitor: Take this body to the morgue
  • Nim: sueing for emotional distress
  • In the background of the alley, hear a meow
  • Nim: AND THE CAT
  • The cat prances towards the tower, licks its paws, licks its legs, the cat grooms itself
  • The inquisitor looks frozen in place, he’s lost in thought
  • Yul runs to the cat
  • Nim chases the cat
  • Sarah stays with the inquisitor, he is frozen
  • The cat looks at Yul and Nim, Yul: “KITTY!!” Cat: “I am not a cat”
  • Cat continues walking towards the tower
  • Yul and Nim continue following the cat
  • It wanders outside, heading towards central market
  • The cat doesn’t look at you anymore
  • The cat stops, starts grooming itself again
  • The cat stops
  • The cat yawns
  • Other people are moving about
  • Other people don’t notice the cat
  • Nim: “It really is a sus cat”
  • Cat: “I repeat I am not a cat”
  • The inquistior, I was just thinking about what was going on, WAIT WHERE DID THE OTHERS GO
  • Sarah: “I’ve been standing here for 45 minutes”
  • Inquisitor: It hasn’t been that long has it
  • Inquisitor pulls out a pocketbook and pen, and writes stuff down
  • I’m going to take you under arrest
  • Sarah: Me?? I’ve been standing here this whole time, I’ve never met these people in my life
Bloo
  • Feel my genie bottle rattling, a head pops out
  • “I don’t like this”
  • Bloo: “who the fuck are you??”
  • Genie: Astrid did warn me about this
  • Bloo: When did you talk to Astrid!?
  • Bloo: Do you have a name?
  • Genie: I was never given one
  • Bloo: I’m naming you Oolb
  • Can’t cast spells here
  • “I’ve never lent out my powers like this”
  • Genie: “i think we should turn back”
  • Bloo: “there’s a cliff”
  • Genie: “I don’t think I can do anything. Good luck bloo!”
  • He goes back in the bottle with a pop
  • Genie through my mind: “I wish I could be more helpful, it appears neither of us can do anything”
  • Bloo: sprinkles some powdered milk on the ground, Bloo sees the milk fall
The Three Stooges - Bloo + Cat
  • The cat looks up at Yul’s head, and hisses
  • The cats claws are longer and sharper than a normal cats
  • It looks poised, it’s curling up a little, it’s bending it’s legs like it’s going to lunge
  • Cat: That rock… Destroy it
  • Nim: Why do you want Yul to eat sand?
  • Cat: It’s not about the sand
  • Yul asks Steven about the cat, no response
  • Yul: Can you judge the cat?
    • No response
  • Cat looks poised to lunge
  • Yul readies a shield to protect Steven the rock
  • The cat’s eyes split, one looks at Nim one looks at Yul
  • The cat lunges, splits into two, one aiming for Nim, one aiming for Yul
  • The cat lunges at your head, it phases through the shield through the head
  • Hear a voice: “I am not a cat”
  • The cat vanished as it leapt towards you
  • Nim and Yul rub their eyes, and then see a cat, licking its paw
  • Nim takes out a shovel
  • The cat looks scared it whimpers
  • Yul offers the cat a banana, the cat looks at the banana, slowly approaches Yul, sniffs it, takes a little chomp, spits out the peel, eats the rest
  • Yul checks Steven, feel relief from the stone
    • Hear a voice that says “That was close”
  • Nim tries to pet the cat
  • The cat is apprehensive about this
  • The cat looks a little calm, it keeps licking the banana, it sits down, it allows Nim to pet it
Sarah + Inquisitor
  • Oh shit, I’m going to be late
  • Inquisitor: “i’m reporting to the mayor, I was on my way back”
  • Inquisitor: “you seem to forget a lot of things, promise me that you will not try breaking this thing again and two, the people around you, keep an eye on them”
  • Inquisitor: I don’t have time to make an arrest, the tea, forget I did anything, I apologize
  • Something feels off about the dragonborn
Bloo
  • Jumps off the cliff, doing a flip
The Three Stooges - Cat
  • The cat hisses, suddenly scared, and run away
  • Weird things are falling out of the sky, it looks like milk powder
  • Oh and bloo falls out of the sky
  • The genie head pops out, and with blue genie arms, they turn into mage hands
  • Genie: “Oh that was close, that’s enough, nap time!”
  • Bloo descends safely
  • Bloo mage hands themselves around
  • We go back to steel alley, there’s no corpse there anymore
  • The pickaxe is not in the door either
  • There’s a note on the door that says, that was plastered on very recently, “Mayoral tea ceremony, the 22nd at noon”
  • It is currently very close to noon due to the inquisitor’s reaction
  • Bloo tries casting Sending to Seliph again, same msg as before
    • “Did anything change, you sent me this message about 5 minutes ago about saying, you told me to investigate the ring shop but it’s not there, it’s been 5 minutes”
    • Seliph is confused because we just told him to investigate the basement of the ring shop
  • Yul notices something weird about Steel Alley, wasn’t the pickaxe in the door, further in the hallway in the door further down the Alley, it feels like you’re only halfway through the alley right now, either the rooms got shuffled, or the alley feels longer
  • You look down, we all feel a little hazy, your eyes start to strain, Nim and Yul shake it off
  • Bloo and Sarah’s vision is going cloudy, we can only hear the cat
  • We hold hands and as we stumble around, we squint our eyes, this alley is getting longer
  • And at the end, see an interior, a foyer at the end of the alley, it appears to be a door swung wide open, and smell floral notes and an aroma of jasmine, it smells quite nice
  • “come in, would you like some tea?” The hag??